We all know the feeling. The relentless pressure to keep going, to be the anchor for everyone else, to put on a brave face while the world feels like it's spinning off its axis. For many, especially those in caregiving professions, this isn't just a feeling—it's a daily reality. But what happens when the person holding it all together realizes they are the one falling apart?
This was the stark reality for Nickia Jackson, a registered nurse with over 25 years in the healthcare system. In a recent conversation on the
Whispers of Wellness podcast, she shared a phrase that perfectly captures the silent struggle of so many: the need to "push down to push through".
It’s a sentiment that host Charlene powerfully echoed, admitting, "I had pushed down so much that I was stuck... and that I couldn't create anymore".
This is the story of that unspoken weight and the journey to finally putting it down.
The Breaking Point of a Healer
Nickia’s career was built on service. From the intense environment of the ICU to the systemic focus of patient safety, she was dedicated to fixing things and caring for others. But when the 2020 pandemic hit, she found herself back on the frontlines, taking care of critically ill patients in a reality that was "not on my bingo card".
Like so many others, she did what she thought was necessary. "I pushed down all of the feelings of angst and concern and worry," she confessed. "Push down what I was feeling in order to really just push through". It’s a conditioning familiar to nurses, mothers, and anyone in a service role—the idea that everyone else’s needs must come before your own.
The problem? This strategy is not sustainable. After the immediate crisis began to wane, Nickia found she wasn't bouncing back. "I wasn't well," she admitted. "I was still having this feeling of... disconnect". The constant pressure led to a terrifying thought, one that many who suffer from burnout share: "There's something wrong with me... I'm broken".
The Power of the Pause
The turning point for Nickia was giving herself permission to do the one thing that felt like a weakness: she took a step back. In a society that glorifies the "go, go, go" hamster wheel, the simple act of stopping can feel revolutionary.
"There's such power in the pause," Nickia explained. It was in that pause that she began the difficult but necessary work of unlearning decades of conditioning. She came to a profound realization: "Strength isn't always the pushing down to push through. It's also knowing... when it is time to take that step to just pause".
This journey of "unbecoming" is something host Charlene related to deeply, sharing a quote that resonated with her own experience: "Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming, but it's about unbecoming everything that's not like you so that you can become who you were destined to be".
For Nickia, this meant finding new tools. She discovered meditation—something she once dismissed—and mindfulness, realizing it wasn't about emptying her mind but about paying attention to the present moment on purpose, without judgment. This practice allowed her to get off the mental hamster wheel and simply be.
You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup
Nickia’s journey led her to launch her own self-care coaching business, dedicated to helping healthcare professionals and organizations understand a fundamental truth: you cannot have a healthy workforce if your workforce is not well.
"If you don't have well people, you have unwell people who are then trying to take care and make people well," she stated, highlighting the dangerous paradox at the heart of healthcare.
Self-care, she insists, is not a fluffy "nice-to-have." It is foundational. It's about creating a culture where taking a lunch break or even a moment to go to the bathroom isn't seen as a luxury, but as an essential need. It's about unlearning the toxic competition of who can neglect themselves the most.
Ultimately, the message is simple but transformative: "It's not selfish to take care of yourself". It is the most critical work you can do—for yourself, and for everyone you care for. To learn more about Nickia Jackson and her work, you can visit her website at https://www.nickia-jackson.com/about.
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